Corporate Archive / Culture & Media
Culture & Media
Language, merch, mysticism, and the running gags of a company that makes cat videos "the old fashioned way — with real cats and real food."
Catgrish
Catgrish is the cats' imperfect written language — the reason product plates and signage read as scrambled near-English. The company leans into it as a point of humility:
Hyper Intelligent cats still can't spell. What you are seeing is Catgrish. — Recurring corporate disclaimer
The conspiracy arc
As the cats' role in society expanded — especially into fast-food management — U.C.F. drew organized resistance from anti-cat conspiracy theorists:
- Misinformation campaigns claiming the cats are a scheme to undermine human jobs and autonomy.
- Human-centric ideology viewing feline management as a threat to human supremacy — driving protests and boycotts.
- Cyber-attacks and vandalism, with anti-cat slogans and symbols.
U.C.F. responded with transparency initiatives (open-door facilities), educational campaigns, community engagement, hardened cybersecurity, and legal action — positioning itself as resilient and mission-driven in the face of skepticism.
The mystical turn
The most recent branding layer invokes anthroposophy, "etheric forces," and Steiner-inspired holistic feline care:
At United Cat Foods, these ideas inspire the way we design nourishment — supporting vitality not just physically, but in the subtle ways that help our cats thrive with balance, calm, and dignity. Because every cat is more than a pet. Every cat is a being becoming. — Dec 2025 · #EthericForces #GuardianOfTheThreshold
Merch & culture
- "Certified Fidd — Always Watching, Always Planning" — a farmcore/sci-fi tee depicting a lone cat staring down a billboard for an imaginary brand from a parallel timeline where cats control the food supply.
- Quantum Flux Sherpa Fleece Blanket — cold-of-space comfort goods.
- Vision Seekers collection — limited test pressings.
- Meme-lab stickers — "produced in the underground labs, running at full capacity (with extra tuna oil for cooling)."
- Running gags: "We're building mass for winter." · "We make cat videos the old fashioned way with real cats and real food." · "They been listening to this all day down at the factory."
The Reverse Cat Simulator
The most recent U.C.F. release inverts the premise of every cat simulator: rather than teaching humans to care for a cat, it prescribes a cat's schedule to the human. It is the natural endpoint of the company's mythology — the cats, having built the empire, now set the clock.